55: Xena: Joxer (Ted Raimi)
Joxer the Mighty
He's very tidy
Everyone admires him
He's so handsome it's a sin
When you're in jeopardy
Don't call the cavalry
There's a better remedy
(Although he doesn't work for free)
He's every man's trusty,
He's every woman's fantasy,
Plus he's goo-oood company
He's Joxer—I'm Joxer the Mighty!
54: Firefly: Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin)
Every single character on Firefly apart from Book (you are RUBBISH, Shephard Book) was fun to watch up on the small screen. Jayne Cobb is no exception, being a self-serving bastard who is sticking around with the rest of the characters on their tiny little spacecraft only until he gets a better deal somewhere else. He has no regard for any of the others, so long as he ends up with a paycheque at the end of each job they take and somewhere to sleep. And also, guns. He was a big fan of guns. Adam Baldwin took this snide character and gave him no pathos at all, and yet still made the public like him. Jayne had respect for only a few members of the crew, but Baldwin managed to convey this very subtly – so when Joss Whedon eventually made an episode which hinged around this (I’m thinking of the superb scene featuring Mal and Jayne in the airlock, and will say no more of it to anyone who hasn’t seen) it all came spilling out and felt natural instead of forced. That single scene was what propelled Jayne into this list. Adam Baldwin is much more versatile as an actor than he is given credit for.
53: My Name Is Earl: Randy Hickey (Ethan Suplee)
At the time this list was being written, which is something close to two years ago My Name Is Earl was still seen as one of the bigger comedy shows around. Having Jason Lee play the main character helped with this of course, because Jason Lee is an insanely talented person, but the real stars of the show turned out to be the supporting cast. From Jaime Pressly’s white-trash squawking mother to her boyfriend, who is called… Crabman, there is nary a dud in there. Most of all, there is a massive winner in the form of Ethan Suplee’s character, Randy Hickey. Earl’s brother Randy is not smart or particularly agile, and may in fact be the closest thing to Winnie The Pooh ever seen in real-life TV. He is a big bumbling fool, but the sort of bumbling fool that most people would want to hug. There isn’t a bad bone in his body (most of the time) and he just wants things to be silly, because he’s barely developed mentally. It’s encouraging.
52: Will and Grace: Jack Walker (Sean Hayes)
Everyone needs an intensely annoying camp-gay stereotype in their lives. I know that I certainly have one! But for all those people out there who are missing out on their fix of gay-o-rama look no further than Will & Grace. Nobody liked the two main characters – well, maybe Will had his moments, but Grace was infuriating – and the show quickly honed in on the two characters of Jack and Karen. They took over proceedings entirely, with Sean Hayes’ unabashedly madcap character filling every scene he was in with shrieking, enthusiasm, and irritating quips. More often than not he was hateable, but he was insistently watchable. With him on the screen, none of the other cast members could get a look-in. Karen was better, but Jack was undeniably eye-catching.
51: The American Office: Pam (Jenna Fischer)
The Office is a reactive show rather than a show where the characters make things happen for themselves. Due to the nature of the program none of the cast can ever really change their status quo in a memorable way, which you’d think would mean that they’re less interesting. No! Pam the receptionist – called Dawn in the original, remember, and played by Lucy Davis – is a lovely character, and effortlessly adorable. This is mostly due to the talents of Jenna Fischer, who has managed to pitch herself as the girl of any man’s dreams whilst seeming like a real, broken person and not a wish-fulfilment fantasy. When you watch a sitcom and some of the characters exist simply so they can be romantic interest, they are almost always annoying and feel misplaced. Pam from The Office feels like an integral part of the show, and that’s no mean feat.
Showing posts with label The 100 Greatest TV Characters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The 100 Greatest TV Characters. Show all posts
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
The 100 Greatest TV Characters (Part 9)
60: Seinfeld: George Constanza (Jason Alexander)
Although not a Jew, no one character has done more to nail down the persona of Jewishness since Woody Allen’s golden years. George was a neurotic guy, selfish and insecure to the point of dementedness, and the word stingy could well have been invented for him. Despite this, he was one of the most loved characters on one of the most loved TV shows ever made, and even today the impact of his character resonates on other shows – Friends, Will & Grace – any show where some of most of the protagonists are self-absorbed has some debt to pay to George Constanza. Based off of Larry David, the character grew in idiocy as the show went on, becoming lazier and better at lying in order to get himself out of the increasingly ridiculous situations he got himself into. He was so stupid and neurotic, it is hard not to give in and simply go along with him. It’s more fun.
59: LOST: James ‘Sawyer’ Ford (Josh Holloway)
There was nothing drastically different about the character of Sawyer. To anyone, he seems to be the typical antihero with a heart of gold, a rough former con-artist who has to make good when he crashes on the island or risk expulsion from the group. What makes him different and therefore noteworthy is that none of the other characters on LOST come anywhere near to matching his level of roughness. Whilst Locke and Sayid are both incredible badasses who shoot, knife, and neck-snap their way around, both of them do it according to a strict moral code. Not so for Sawyer, who is out for himself almost the whole time. That’s what made him so memorable.
58: Coupling: Jeffrey Murdoch (Richard Coyle)
In this superior British variation on ‘Friends’, six friends talk about sex a lot whilst getting into ludicrous scrapes with indecent results! And Jeff was the best character of the lot, narrowly beating out vapid-brained Jane to strike his name into the list. Jeff is absolutely obsessed with sex, and has composed theories and lists for practically every aspect of reproduction that you could imagine. It was in his obsession with sex that the show got most of its milage – whenever he was in the room, you could see that any moment he would explode from the conversation into a series of crude mimes, or break at length to discuss the practical use of ribbed condoms. His best moment came in the form of “the giggle-loop”.
57: Arrested Development: Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman)
In the midst of the insanity that was the Bluth family, Michael Bluth was the most normal-seeming and sensible of the lot. He was hard-working, rode a bicycle to work, and tried to do what was best for his son. Of course, this all proved to be a façade which was revealed to the viewers as Arrested Dvelopment went on. Michael was just as mad as the rest of them: but in his case the madness was his obsession with his family, even though he claimed to hate them. For as much as he denounced them, it became clear that Michael needed to be around his family in order to feel superior to someone, and this superiority complex is what ultimately messes him up and keeps him with the most dysfunctional family ever seen on television.
56: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
The universal truth for television would be that the main character is never the most interesting. It’s the reason why Will & Grace was fundamentally about the pairing of Jack & Karen instead of the characters of the title, and why nobody cares much about Peter from Heroes (that and the rather poor writing, of course). Buffy is mostly the same; a boring know-it-all who thinks she is far better than she really is, but has – as one character memorably put it to her – an inferiority complex about her superiority complex. She is the slayer, and vitally powerful, but it’s only thanks to her friends that she remains alive for the course of the show. Why is she in the list, then? Because she’s one of the first strong female leads in Television, and that should always be recognised. Buffy changed a lot of people’s minds about how television should be made, and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s title character was a strong part of that.
Although not a Jew, no one character has done more to nail down the persona of Jewishness since Woody Allen’s golden years. George was a neurotic guy, selfish and insecure to the point of dementedness, and the word stingy could well have been invented for him. Despite this, he was one of the most loved characters on one of the most loved TV shows ever made, and even today the impact of his character resonates on other shows – Friends, Will & Grace – any show where some of most of the protagonists are self-absorbed has some debt to pay to George Constanza. Based off of Larry David, the character grew in idiocy as the show went on, becoming lazier and better at lying in order to get himself out of the increasingly ridiculous situations he got himself into. He was so stupid and neurotic, it is hard not to give in and simply go along with him. It’s more fun.
59: LOST: James ‘Sawyer’ Ford (Josh Holloway)
There was nothing drastically different about the character of Sawyer. To anyone, he seems to be the typical antihero with a heart of gold, a rough former con-artist who has to make good when he crashes on the island or risk expulsion from the group. What makes him different and therefore noteworthy is that none of the other characters on LOST come anywhere near to matching his level of roughness. Whilst Locke and Sayid are both incredible badasses who shoot, knife, and neck-snap their way around, both of them do it according to a strict moral code. Not so for Sawyer, who is out for himself almost the whole time. That’s what made him so memorable.
58: Coupling: Jeffrey Murdoch (Richard Coyle)
In this superior British variation on ‘Friends’, six friends talk about sex a lot whilst getting into ludicrous scrapes with indecent results! And Jeff was the best character of the lot, narrowly beating out vapid-brained Jane to strike his name into the list. Jeff is absolutely obsessed with sex, and has composed theories and lists for practically every aspect of reproduction that you could imagine. It was in his obsession with sex that the show got most of its milage – whenever he was in the room, you could see that any moment he would explode from the conversation into a series of crude mimes, or break at length to discuss the practical use of ribbed condoms. His best moment came in the form of “the giggle-loop”.
57: Arrested Development: Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman)
In the midst of the insanity that was the Bluth family, Michael Bluth was the most normal-seeming and sensible of the lot. He was hard-working, rode a bicycle to work, and tried to do what was best for his son. Of course, this all proved to be a façade which was revealed to the viewers as Arrested Dvelopment went on. Michael was just as mad as the rest of them: but in his case the madness was his obsession with his family, even though he claimed to hate them. For as much as he denounced them, it became clear that Michael needed to be around his family in order to feel superior to someone, and this superiority complex is what ultimately messes him up and keeps him with the most dysfunctional family ever seen on television.
56: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
The universal truth for television would be that the main character is never the most interesting. It’s the reason why Will & Grace was fundamentally about the pairing of Jack & Karen instead of the characters of the title, and why nobody cares much about Peter from Heroes (that and the rather poor writing, of course). Buffy is mostly the same; a boring know-it-all who thinks she is far better than she really is, but has – as one character memorably put it to her – an inferiority complex about her superiority complex. She is the slayer, and vitally powerful, but it’s only thanks to her friends that she remains alive for the course of the show. Why is she in the list, then? Because she’s one of the first strong female leads in Television, and that should always be recognised. Buffy changed a lot of people’s minds about how television should be made, and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s title character was a strong part of that.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time (Part 8)
65: The Mighty Boosh: Howard Moon (Julian Barrett)
The funniest straight man in comedy today, Howard is as pretentious and up-himself as they come. Always the butt of the jokes made by his friend Vince Noir (Noel Fielding), Howard is completely repressed. He is vain and shallow, but tries to make himself out to be someone special, which leads to intensely awkward situations. He also tends to get kidnapped a lot, forcing Vince to go out and rescue him.
64: Prison Break: Theodore Bagwell (Robert Knepper)
Not many characters have been as consistently evil as Theodore ‘T-Bag’ Bagwell, a sick, twisted murderer with the ability to survive almost anything. During the first series he cropped up as a villain whom the main characters had to get past to escape the prison of the show, but… they didn’t. He got out with them, and then went on a killing spree. Knepper here managed to create a character everyone would hate, a man who is charming to the people he needs to charm, but vicious and without mercy once he has what he needs. It’s an astonishing performance, and it made every scene with his character riveting – far more so than any of the other characters.
63: Kenan and Kel: Kel Kimble (Kel Mitchell)
Nobody liked Kenan, because he was so uptight and had a terrible voice that took all the comedy out of everything. Much more interesting was Kel, a kid obsessed with orange soda. In fact, perhaps the only reason I even remember this character and put him in the list is because of his love for orange soda. I don’t even know him that well – he was a slacker, or something, the bad influence on Kenan who annoyed everyone else (especially Kenan’s apoplectic dad). I don’t have much else to say; this was perhaps a bad choice for the list but hey – it’s my list.
62: Angel: Wesley Wyndham-Price (Alexis Denisof)
We got to see an incredibly story-arc for Wesley, as his character started off as an inexperience, smug idiot on another show (Buffy), then moved across to the spin-off and grew into a distraught veteran who saw most of his friends die, had his throat slit, and had to watch the woman he loved die and resurrect as a demon. Yeah, it was not easy for Wesley, but he did he best to make it through, depressed though he was. His character began as comic relief and ended as the person everyone most wanted to have a happy ending. On a show filled with incredible, fascinating characters, Wesley was one of the strongest and most interesting of all. He betrayed, was betrayed, came back, shot and stabbed his way through life, and made it through to the series finale before being anticlimactically killed off. Just what he’d have wanted.
61: Dad’s Army: Frank Pike (Ian Lavender)
In a TV show about a group of people who are too old to go to war, it helps to have some youth to balance out the ranks of pensioners who must make up the majority of your cast. With Dad’s Army, a fabulous example of character-based comedy where just about every character could have a claim to enter this list, Frank Pike was that character, played with clueless aplomb by Ian Lavender. Pike was a mother’s boy through-and-through, who never took off his scarf and who was always the butt of the joke. For the more experienced members of the Home Guard, Pike was someone to be looked after, because he was so young and silly, and Pike was consistently annoyed by this – but cos he was so young and silly, he had to accept that they were almost always right about him. He also provided the country with a great new rhyme about Hitler, for which we must eternally thank the writers of the show.
The funniest straight man in comedy today, Howard is as pretentious and up-himself as they come. Always the butt of the jokes made by his friend Vince Noir (Noel Fielding), Howard is completely repressed. He is vain and shallow, but tries to make himself out to be someone special, which leads to intensely awkward situations. He also tends to get kidnapped a lot, forcing Vince to go out and rescue him.
64: Prison Break: Theodore Bagwell (Robert Knepper)
Not many characters have been as consistently evil as Theodore ‘T-Bag’ Bagwell, a sick, twisted murderer with the ability to survive almost anything. During the first series he cropped up as a villain whom the main characters had to get past to escape the prison of the show, but… they didn’t. He got out with them, and then went on a killing spree. Knepper here managed to create a character everyone would hate, a man who is charming to the people he needs to charm, but vicious and without mercy once he has what he needs. It’s an astonishing performance, and it made every scene with his character riveting – far more so than any of the other characters.
63: Kenan and Kel: Kel Kimble (Kel Mitchell)
Nobody liked Kenan, because he was so uptight and had a terrible voice that took all the comedy out of everything. Much more interesting was Kel, a kid obsessed with orange soda. In fact, perhaps the only reason I even remember this character and put him in the list is because of his love for orange soda. I don’t even know him that well – he was a slacker, or something, the bad influence on Kenan who annoyed everyone else (especially Kenan’s apoplectic dad). I don’t have much else to say; this was perhaps a bad choice for the list but hey – it’s my list.
62: Angel: Wesley Wyndham-Price (Alexis Denisof)
We got to see an incredibly story-arc for Wesley, as his character started off as an inexperience, smug idiot on another show (Buffy), then moved across to the spin-off and grew into a distraught veteran who saw most of his friends die, had his throat slit, and had to watch the woman he loved die and resurrect as a demon. Yeah, it was not easy for Wesley, but he did he best to make it through, depressed though he was. His character began as comic relief and ended as the person everyone most wanted to have a happy ending. On a show filled with incredible, fascinating characters, Wesley was one of the strongest and most interesting of all. He betrayed, was betrayed, came back, shot and stabbed his way through life, and made it through to the series finale before being anticlimactically killed off. Just what he’d have wanted.
61: Dad’s Army: Frank Pike (Ian Lavender)
In a TV show about a group of people who are too old to go to war, it helps to have some youth to balance out the ranks of pensioners who must make up the majority of your cast. With Dad’s Army, a fabulous example of character-based comedy where just about every character could have a claim to enter this list, Frank Pike was that character, played with clueless aplomb by Ian Lavender. Pike was a mother’s boy through-and-through, who never took off his scarf and who was always the butt of the joke. For the more experienced members of the Home Guard, Pike was someone to be looked after, because he was so young and silly, and Pike was consistently annoyed by this – but cos he was so young and silly, he had to accept that they were almost always right about him. He also provided the country with a great new rhyme about Hitler, for which we must eternally thank the writers of the show.
Monday, 8 December 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time (Part 7)
70: Wonderfalls: Jaye Tyler (Caroline Dhavernas)
Wonderfalls was cancelled very early in America, which was a big shame because in Jaye Tyler, it had a genuinely brilliant and unpredictable central character – and one who was plagued by talking toy animals. Jaye was a grumpy angry young woman who worked at a retail outlet by Niagrara falls (sample grumpiness:
Young Girl: “You’re not supposed to steal from the wishing fountain”
Jaye: “You’re not supposed to talk to strangers. Piss off.”)
Then toy animals start talking to her, telling her what to do in life. Naturally she’s much too grumpy to follow their instructions, and that’s where the fun of the show was. As life went on, she became much more sympathetic but didn’t ever stop being grumpy. And for that, we’re forever grateful.
69: Life on Mars: Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister)
We all know that life nowadays if too PC, too regulated. The police force have been crippled by paperwork – if they ever make an arrest, they have to do it by the book, and the slightest slip could see them sued. And most of us hate the whole thing. That’s why when Life on Mars came out that it was so popular, because the police didn’t care about regulations as long as they made the streets of Manchester safer. And Gene Hunt, kingpin of the 1970’s force, was legendary in his rough treatment. It was brilliant fun to watch Glenister beat up nasty people and chase them with his car, all the while carrying a huge arm cannon and wearing a trenchcoat. It’s a shame that the police today aren’t allowed to be like him, because the way he did things got results, and that can’t be denied.
68: Xena: Warrior Princess: Xena (Lucy Lawless)
The feistiest of all superheroes, Xena started out life as a baddie, surprisingly, until Hercules made her good and sent her on her way, on his show. She was such a strong character though that they spun her off into her own series, which quickly became more famous than the one that spawned her. Xena had countless trademarks, from her revealing-yet-also-not outfit, to her dodgy yipping screams whenever she did a backflip, to the round disk thing she used to stun enemies. She kicked the ass of everyone who appeared on the show at least once, and died several times before she was eventually crucified. Oh, and she was a lesbian too. Did anyone see that coming?
67: Doctor Who: The 10th Doctor (David Tennant)
Tom Baker: apologies. Only David Tennant’s take on Dr Who is in this list, in what is possibly the most controversial absence. But Tennant has taken over Dr Who and made it his own. After being infected with radiation, Christopher Ecclestone imploded and the 10th Doctor was regenerated. Quirky and thrilled by everything, his infectious charm has won the series many fans, and the chemistry he’s shared with just about every person, location and inanimate object has made his character a joy to behold. When he’s in his element, playing around with junk, he’s funny. When he’s being confronted by yet MORE Daleks, he’s serious and dramatic, and you root for him, which is going to make it all the more upsetting when he finally dies.
66: Dexter: Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall)
Perhaps the trickiest character on the list to define, Dexter is a forensic detective who harbours a dark secret; he’s a serial killer. He only kills people who deserve it – drug dealers, rapists, etc – but he doesn’t do it for the sense of satisfaction of helping others. No, Dexter is much darker than that. He truly does have no humanity, and Michael C Hall plays him with a quiet malevolence that unsettles almost as much as it does intrigue. Smart, witty, but completely unable to feel anything, his callous attitude to humanity sets him apart and makes him completely fascinating to watch.
Wonderfalls was cancelled very early in America, which was a big shame because in Jaye Tyler, it had a genuinely brilliant and unpredictable central character – and one who was plagued by talking toy animals. Jaye was a grumpy angry young woman who worked at a retail outlet by Niagrara falls (sample grumpiness:
Young Girl: “You’re not supposed to steal from the wishing fountain”
Jaye: “You’re not supposed to talk to strangers. Piss off.”)
Then toy animals start talking to her, telling her what to do in life. Naturally she’s much too grumpy to follow their instructions, and that’s where the fun of the show was. As life went on, she became much more sympathetic but didn’t ever stop being grumpy. And for that, we’re forever grateful.
69: Life on Mars: Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister)
We all know that life nowadays if too PC, too regulated. The police force have been crippled by paperwork – if they ever make an arrest, they have to do it by the book, and the slightest slip could see them sued. And most of us hate the whole thing. That’s why when Life on Mars came out that it was so popular, because the police didn’t care about regulations as long as they made the streets of Manchester safer. And Gene Hunt, kingpin of the 1970’s force, was legendary in his rough treatment. It was brilliant fun to watch Glenister beat up nasty people and chase them with his car, all the while carrying a huge arm cannon and wearing a trenchcoat. It’s a shame that the police today aren’t allowed to be like him, because the way he did things got results, and that can’t be denied.
68: Xena: Warrior Princess: Xena (Lucy Lawless)
The feistiest of all superheroes, Xena started out life as a baddie, surprisingly, until Hercules made her good and sent her on her way, on his show. She was such a strong character though that they spun her off into her own series, which quickly became more famous than the one that spawned her. Xena had countless trademarks, from her revealing-yet-also-not outfit, to her dodgy yipping screams whenever she did a backflip, to the round disk thing she used to stun enemies. She kicked the ass of everyone who appeared on the show at least once, and died several times before she was eventually crucified. Oh, and she was a lesbian too. Did anyone see that coming?
67: Doctor Who: The 10th Doctor (David Tennant)
Tom Baker: apologies. Only David Tennant’s take on Dr Who is in this list, in what is possibly the most controversial absence. But Tennant has taken over Dr Who and made it his own. After being infected with radiation, Christopher Ecclestone imploded and the 10th Doctor was regenerated. Quirky and thrilled by everything, his infectious charm has won the series many fans, and the chemistry he’s shared with just about every person, location and inanimate object has made his character a joy to behold. When he’s in his element, playing around with junk, he’s funny. When he’s being confronted by yet MORE Daleks, he’s serious and dramatic, and you root for him, which is going to make it all the more upsetting when he finally dies.
66: Dexter: Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall)
Perhaps the trickiest character on the list to define, Dexter is a forensic detective who harbours a dark secret; he’s a serial killer. He only kills people who deserve it – drug dealers, rapists, etc – but he doesn’t do it for the sense of satisfaction of helping others. No, Dexter is much darker than that. He truly does have no humanity, and Michael C Hall plays him with a quiet malevolence that unsettles almost as much as it does intrigue. Smart, witty, but completely unable to feel anything, his callous attitude to humanity sets him apart and makes him completely fascinating to watch.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Heroes: How To Fix It
What an awful show ‘Heroes’ has become. It started two years ago, at a time when Lost had, ahem, lost the way and was floundering about with barely any scenes featuring Locke, Sayid or Desmond at all. As Lost was going nowhere quickly, people jumped on Heroes because it was fun, moved quickly, and answered the questions that were asked of it with an impressive regularity. No four-toed statues there!
But as time has gone on, Lost has become absolutely awesome and Heroes has experienced perhaps the fastest slide into awfulness that has ever been seen on television. The characters no longer make any sense, the ongoing plots are bizarre and only work because the writers say so – and oh yeah, the writers. They seem to have no idea about what continuity is and they thought Nathan Petrelli (arguably their best character, and played by Adrian Pasdar – who is easily the best actor on the show) should be turned into a Christian. They shot him at the start of this year, y’know, and then had him be healed by a character with healing powers. Oh, but then the healing guy turned out to only exist in Nathan’s head, and wasn’t actually around. So, uh… who healed Nathan? That’s just one example of the many, many continuity errors which the writers bathe in weekly.
It’s easy to criticise Heroes. In fact, I’ll do so once more if you don’t mind – why do they kill off the characters played by decent actors? Healing cheerleader Claire can’t seem to ever get killed off, but so far this season they kill off the guy who played ‘Sark’ on Alias AND Veronica Mars? That’s not entertainment! But here I go again, complaining about the show without offering any ideas of my own to help fix it.
Well, actually I can fix it. In five steps. Want to know how I’d do it? Of course you do! Here we go:
Step 1: Kill off all the overpowered heroes, such as Sylar and Arthur Petrelli, and Claire. There’s no suspense if half the cast are immortal. Kill them off!
Step 2: Bring in a new hero, played by Nathan Fillion. Nathan Fillion’s power on the show will be that he is awesome, and he’ll carry a gun around at all times.
Step 3: Fire the rest of the cast. They are getting in Nathan Fillion’s way and stealing valuable airtime that should be devoted to Nathan Fillion.
Step 4: This show has poor writers. You know who is a good writer? Joss Whedon! Hire him to be the new show-runner of the programme. If you have to bribe him with the promise that he can have a musical episode once every season, so be it.
Step 5: Give Nathan Fillion a spaceship to fly around in, and hire a new cast of brilliance character-actors who can live on the spaceship with Nathan Fillion. I suggest Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin, Gina Torres and Summer Glau to be among the new cast-members.
You see? In five simple steps, we have taken the show, reworked it significantly, and come out the other side with something fantastic and entertaining for all. Who wouldn’t want to watch this show, where Nathan Fillion has a gun and flies around on a spaceship with his friends?
NBC Executives: I know you probably feel bad about the concept of stealing ideas from your favourite blog, but seriously – just do it. I won’t even mind.
But as time has gone on, Lost has become absolutely awesome and Heroes has experienced perhaps the fastest slide into awfulness that has ever been seen on television. The characters no longer make any sense, the ongoing plots are bizarre and only work because the writers say so – and oh yeah, the writers. They seem to have no idea about what continuity is and they thought Nathan Petrelli (arguably their best character, and played by Adrian Pasdar – who is easily the best actor on the show) should be turned into a Christian. They shot him at the start of this year, y’know, and then had him be healed by a character with healing powers. Oh, but then the healing guy turned out to only exist in Nathan’s head, and wasn’t actually around. So, uh… who healed Nathan? That’s just one example of the many, many continuity errors which the writers bathe in weekly.
It’s easy to criticise Heroes. In fact, I’ll do so once more if you don’t mind – why do they kill off the characters played by decent actors? Healing cheerleader Claire can’t seem to ever get killed off, but so far this season they kill off the guy who played ‘Sark’ on Alias AND Veronica Mars? That’s not entertainment! But here I go again, complaining about the show without offering any ideas of my own to help fix it.
Well, actually I can fix it. In five steps. Want to know how I’d do it? Of course you do! Here we go:
Step 1: Kill off all the overpowered heroes, such as Sylar and Arthur Petrelli, and Claire. There’s no suspense if half the cast are immortal. Kill them off!
Step 2: Bring in a new hero, played by Nathan Fillion. Nathan Fillion’s power on the show will be that he is awesome, and he’ll carry a gun around at all times.
Step 3: Fire the rest of the cast. They are getting in Nathan Fillion’s way and stealing valuable airtime that should be devoted to Nathan Fillion.
Step 4: This show has poor writers. You know who is a good writer? Joss Whedon! Hire him to be the new show-runner of the programme. If you have to bribe him with the promise that he can have a musical episode once every season, so be it.
Step 5: Give Nathan Fillion a spaceship to fly around in, and hire a new cast of brilliance character-actors who can live on the spaceship with Nathan Fillion. I suggest Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin, Gina Torres and Summer Glau to be among the new cast-members.
You see? In five simple steps, we have taken the show, reworked it significantly, and come out the other side with something fantastic and entertaining for all. Who wouldn’t want to watch this show, where Nathan Fillion has a gun and flies around on a spaceship with his friends?
NBC Executives: I know you probably feel bad about the concept of stealing ideas from your favourite blog, but seriously – just do it. I won’t even mind.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time (Part 6)
75: Hercules The Legendary Journeys: Autolycus (Bruce Campbell)
Hercules and Iolaus, the main characters in the series, were often bland and uninteresting, so it was up to the supporting cast to make the show fun. When it was thus announced that cult icon Bruce Campbell would be joining the case in a recurring role, then, it was met with huge excitement. And with good cause! Bruce stole every episode he was in as the slightly dim-witted but hugely talented master thief Autolycus. From framing Iolaus for robbery in his first appearance, to his grappling hook (in Greek times?!), he was a wall of stinging one-liners, slapstick, and of course the quivering eyebrow. Autolycus made a scene funny just by his presence, and that’s what makes his worthy of this list.
74: My Name Is Earl: Joy Turner (Jaime Pressley)
My Name Is Earl is a comedy made notable for it’s brilliant cast of characters, and Joy is the first of three to make it into this list (sorry to disappoint though, but Crabman doesn’t make the cut). The show is about a man, Earl, who tries to be a better person by making up for his past mistakes, and in many respects Joy is the anti-Earl. Gleefully nasty, she steals and lies and cheats her way through the show, manipulating people to do what she wants through sheer forcefulness, she is wholly unsympathetic, and her lack of respect for any of the other characters, her dominating presence, makes her the best bitch since Tanya Turner (#86). Whenever she appears, you know things are going to go wrong for Earl, and it’s constantly hilarious when they do.
73: Peep Show: Jeremy Osbourne (Robert Webb)
Before you ask: yes, they both make the list. Jeremy, ‘Jez’, is the quintessential slacker. He sits on his couch all day watching TV, listening to music and doing drugs, whilst having strange sex with kinky people. Sounds boring, right? Well no, because we hear everything Jez thinks, his neurotic worries about if he’s being indie enough, too indie, or just a bit weird, and his attitude to life is hilarious, as he tries to avoid the things that he hates but always manages to end up right next to them. Although not as neurotic as Mark, Jez is neurotic in a whole new way, which is why he’s made the list.
72: Scrubs: The Janitor (Neil Flynn)
The Janitor is quite low down, but then again he’s knocked Elliot and Dr Kelso and Ted out of the list, among several others, so when you think about it he’s done rather well for himself. Scrubs is filled with tremendous characters, but of all the supporting roles it is the Janitor who is best-loved. He hates JD, and sets out to foil and annoy him at every turn, in an attempt to destroy him. Whether this be by locking him in a water tower for an episode of by repeatedly causing JD to crash his scooter, the Janitor is always one step ahead. But there’s more! The Janitor is a repeated liar, telling people varying stories about his past, and nobody seems to know anything about him or his real life. Neil Flynn is known to make up many of his lines as he goes along, which makes the Janitor so unpredictable; who else in the history of TV catches squirrels, kills them, and stuffs them, so he has an undead squirrel army?
71: 24: Nina Myers (Sarah Clarke)
There aren’t many evil women out there, and I doubt anyone expected to see one emerge on 24. So when Nina came out at the end of season 1 as a baddie, everyone (and I mean absolutely everyone) was totally surprised by it. And as season 2 progresses, with her absence she took over the screen. People waited for her return, because now not only we knew she was a baddie, but Jack did too, and he wanted revenge. She did return, and she was totally evil. It was amazing how much menace Sarah Clarke could instil in her character. Every scene Nina was in, she seemed as if she could do anything, kill any character, cause no end of damage to Jack. Her unique brand of pure liquid evil elevated the show from a good one to a great one.
Hercules and Iolaus, the main characters in the series, were often bland and uninteresting, so it was up to the supporting cast to make the show fun. When it was thus announced that cult icon Bruce Campbell would be joining the case in a recurring role, then, it was met with huge excitement. And with good cause! Bruce stole every episode he was in as the slightly dim-witted but hugely talented master thief Autolycus. From framing Iolaus for robbery in his first appearance, to his grappling hook (in Greek times?!), he was a wall of stinging one-liners, slapstick, and of course the quivering eyebrow. Autolycus made a scene funny just by his presence, and that’s what makes his worthy of this list.
74: My Name Is Earl: Joy Turner (Jaime Pressley)
My Name Is Earl is a comedy made notable for it’s brilliant cast of characters, and Joy is the first of three to make it into this list (sorry to disappoint though, but Crabman doesn’t make the cut). The show is about a man, Earl, who tries to be a better person by making up for his past mistakes, and in many respects Joy is the anti-Earl. Gleefully nasty, she steals and lies and cheats her way through the show, manipulating people to do what she wants through sheer forcefulness, she is wholly unsympathetic, and her lack of respect for any of the other characters, her dominating presence, makes her the best bitch since Tanya Turner (#86). Whenever she appears, you know things are going to go wrong for Earl, and it’s constantly hilarious when they do.
73: Peep Show: Jeremy Osbourne (Robert Webb)
Before you ask: yes, they both make the list. Jeremy, ‘Jez’, is the quintessential slacker. He sits on his couch all day watching TV, listening to music and doing drugs, whilst having strange sex with kinky people. Sounds boring, right? Well no, because we hear everything Jez thinks, his neurotic worries about if he’s being indie enough, too indie, or just a bit weird, and his attitude to life is hilarious, as he tries to avoid the things that he hates but always manages to end up right next to them. Although not as neurotic as Mark, Jez is neurotic in a whole new way, which is why he’s made the list.
72: Scrubs: The Janitor (Neil Flynn)
The Janitor is quite low down, but then again he’s knocked Elliot and Dr Kelso and Ted out of the list, among several others, so when you think about it he’s done rather well for himself. Scrubs is filled with tremendous characters, but of all the supporting roles it is the Janitor who is best-loved. He hates JD, and sets out to foil and annoy him at every turn, in an attempt to destroy him. Whether this be by locking him in a water tower for an episode of by repeatedly causing JD to crash his scooter, the Janitor is always one step ahead. But there’s more! The Janitor is a repeated liar, telling people varying stories about his past, and nobody seems to know anything about him or his real life. Neil Flynn is known to make up many of his lines as he goes along, which makes the Janitor so unpredictable; who else in the history of TV catches squirrels, kills them, and stuffs them, so he has an undead squirrel army?
71: 24: Nina Myers (Sarah Clarke)
There aren’t many evil women out there, and I doubt anyone expected to see one emerge on 24. So when Nina came out at the end of season 1 as a baddie, everyone (and I mean absolutely everyone) was totally surprised by it. And as season 2 progresses, with her absence she took over the screen. People waited for her return, because now not only we knew she was a baddie, but Jack did too, and he wanted revenge. She did return, and she was totally evil. It was amazing how much menace Sarah Clarke could instil in her character. Every scene Nina was in, she seemed as if she could do anything, kill any character, cause no end of damage to Jack. Her unique brand of pure liquid evil elevated the show from a good one to a great one.
Monday, 29 September 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time (Part 5)
80: Friends: Ross Gellar (David Schwimmer)
The second of the three entrants from Friends (and you already know who the final one is, don’t you?) is a perhaps controversial entry into this list because it means we won’t see Joey or Phoebe or Monica or any of the other characters cropping up. Why choose Ross over the others? Well, it was because of the six characters, Ross was the only one who remained believable. Granted, we all know in real life Rachel would never have gone for him, but that aside Ross kept his character throughout the infinite series of Friends aired, without dipping into caricature. A big dork, Ross could always raise a smile with his endless obsessions, and fascination with the dullest of things. And he was funny, too! Often the butt of the joke, Ross could nevertheless hold his own and hit back when ripped by his friends. And the sight of him playing keyboard is funny, even now.
79: Alias: Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner)
She of the many wigs and costumes, which thankfully always somehow managed to show off Jennifer’s fabulous legs, for which we thank the costume department. Sydney started off the show as a female spy working as a double agent in a devious agency run by the evil Arvin Sloane (and we mean, EVIL). She was tormented endlessly by the writers, who killed off his fiancé in the first episode and then made things go downhill for her, because obviously she hasn’t suffered enough! Her best friend was killed, her love interest and CIA handler Michael was seemingly killed several times, and she herself was close to death on more than one occasion. Yet she always pulled through, and was the ultimate in girl power! Well, until series 4, when the show dipped dramatically in quality. But we’ll always have those first three seasons…
78: Angel: Spike (James Marsters)
Shock! Spike is wayyyyy down on the list! How can this be? Well, in a chart that doesn’t have room for Fred or Cordelia, really Spike can think himself lucky to be here at all. Killed off at the end of Buffy’s TV run, he was unceremoniously (and accidentally) resurrected by Angel during the first episode of the next season as a ghost, who was hilariously bound to follow Angel wherever he went, which naturally caused friction between the two vampires, who had hated each other for a very long time. He eventually got form back, and joined the team, somewhat reluctantly. He undermined Angel at every turn, with his caustic comments hitting home often, causing great verbal exchanges between the two. When we last saw Spike he was still alive, but facing down an army of demons. Did he survive to fight another day? You’ll have to read the comics to find out.
77: Blackadder: Queen Elizabeth I (Miranda Richardson)
“Queenie”, as she was always called, was not the glorious leader we knew from the history books, Blackadder showed us, but in actual fact a spoilt child who delighted in chopping off people’s heads for no real reason. She took childish delight in her “favourites”, who included Walter Raleigh, and Blackadder spent the series attempting to win her favour so she would marry him. Aided by her two advisors Melchett (a gloriously grovelling Stephen Fry) and her nurse… Nursie, she was a voice of insanity in the series, going way OTT whenever she wanted to, with her tantrums aimed at anyone who annoyed her. She was a brilliant character, hilariously silly and pointless, and it’s a shame we never got more of her.
76: Heroes: Hiro Nakamura (Masi Oka)
One of the most recent TV shows to grip America has been Heroes, and of all the characters Hiro is almost certainly the most loved. As the only cast member to embrace his powers from the start, his enthusiasm in his quest to save the world was endearing, and his relationship with best friend Ando was touching. Yet Hiro wasn’t a slacker, he was always faithful in his quest, and throughout the series had several of the best moments (the storyline where he tries to save the waitress who liked him from dying was the most heartbreaking thing). His ability to flash forward meant that he was the hero with the most knowledge of the chain of events that would lead to the ‘exploding man’ which would destroy New York, and it was impossible not to root for him as he tried to stop it from happening.
The second of the three entrants from Friends (and you already know who the final one is, don’t you?) is a perhaps controversial entry into this list because it means we won’t see Joey or Phoebe or Monica or any of the other characters cropping up. Why choose Ross over the others? Well, it was because of the six characters, Ross was the only one who remained believable. Granted, we all know in real life Rachel would never have gone for him, but that aside Ross kept his character throughout the infinite series of Friends aired, without dipping into caricature. A big dork, Ross could always raise a smile with his endless obsessions, and fascination with the dullest of things. And he was funny, too! Often the butt of the joke, Ross could nevertheless hold his own and hit back when ripped by his friends. And the sight of him playing keyboard is funny, even now.
79: Alias: Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner)
She of the many wigs and costumes, which thankfully always somehow managed to show off Jennifer’s fabulous legs, for which we thank the costume department. Sydney started off the show as a female spy working as a double agent in a devious agency run by the evil Arvin Sloane (and we mean, EVIL). She was tormented endlessly by the writers, who killed off his fiancé in the first episode and then made things go downhill for her, because obviously she hasn’t suffered enough! Her best friend was killed, her love interest and CIA handler Michael was seemingly killed several times, and she herself was close to death on more than one occasion. Yet she always pulled through, and was the ultimate in girl power! Well, until series 4, when the show dipped dramatically in quality. But we’ll always have those first three seasons…
78: Angel: Spike (James Marsters)
Shock! Spike is wayyyyy down on the list! How can this be? Well, in a chart that doesn’t have room for Fred or Cordelia, really Spike can think himself lucky to be here at all. Killed off at the end of Buffy’s TV run, he was unceremoniously (and accidentally) resurrected by Angel during the first episode of the next season as a ghost, who was hilariously bound to follow Angel wherever he went, which naturally caused friction between the two vampires, who had hated each other for a very long time. He eventually got form back, and joined the team, somewhat reluctantly. He undermined Angel at every turn, with his caustic comments hitting home often, causing great verbal exchanges between the two. When we last saw Spike he was still alive, but facing down an army of demons. Did he survive to fight another day? You’ll have to read the comics to find out.
77: Blackadder: Queen Elizabeth I (Miranda Richardson)
“Queenie”, as she was always called, was not the glorious leader we knew from the history books, Blackadder showed us, but in actual fact a spoilt child who delighted in chopping off people’s heads for no real reason. She took childish delight in her “favourites”, who included Walter Raleigh, and Blackadder spent the series attempting to win her favour so she would marry him. Aided by her two advisors Melchett (a gloriously grovelling Stephen Fry) and her nurse… Nursie, she was a voice of insanity in the series, going way OTT whenever she wanted to, with her tantrums aimed at anyone who annoyed her. She was a brilliant character, hilariously silly and pointless, and it’s a shame we never got more of her.
76: Heroes: Hiro Nakamura (Masi Oka)
One of the most recent TV shows to grip America has been Heroes, and of all the characters Hiro is almost certainly the most loved. As the only cast member to embrace his powers from the start, his enthusiasm in his quest to save the world was endearing, and his relationship with best friend Ando was touching. Yet Hiro wasn’t a slacker, he was always faithful in his quest, and throughout the series had several of the best moments (the storyline where he tries to save the waitress who liked him from dying was the most heartbreaking thing). His ability to flash forward meant that he was the hero with the most knowledge of the chain of events that would lead to the ‘exploding man’ which would destroy New York, and it was impossible not to root for him as he tried to stop it from happening.
Monday, 8 September 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Characters Of All Time (Part 4)
85: Sharpe: Richard Sharpe (Sean Bean)
On TV there is a distinct lack of characters who are willing to get things done by any means necessary, but Sharpe was certainly one of them. Based on Bernard Cornwall’s novels, Sharpe was brought to the screen by Sheffield’s own Sean Bean, who gave the character a grit and determination not to fail that has rarely been matched since. A humble soldier in Wellington’s army, Sharpe rose up the ranks due to the fact that he was hard as nails, kicking the living hell out of his opponents and then going back and making out with a succession of beautiful women looking for ‘a bit of rough’. Mix all this in with a badass attitude and the fact he’s played by SEAN BEAN, and you’ve got yourself the ultimate hero.
84: The Mighty Boosh: Old Gregg (Noel Fielding)
It’s a tribute to the talents of Noel Fielding that Old Gregg is in this list, as he only ever appeared in one episode of the Mighty Boosh, the one that bore his name. However Gregg has become a phenomenon, a character who is widely recognised and loved. With his catchphrase “I’m Old Gregg!” and his passion for Baileys drunk out of a shoe, Old Gregg is a half-man half-fish monster, although he suffers considerable brain damage due to his “downstairs mix-up” – work that one out for yourself. Old Gregg is a very dark character though, as it transpires he kidnaps people and then forces them to love him. Howard, who gets kidnapped by the fishy foe, finds this out when he engages in an inspired duet with Old Gregg; “Do You Love Me?”
83: Pride and Prejudice: Mr Darcy (Colin Firth)
Two words define this character: wet shirt.
82: The Avengers: John Steed (Patrick Macnee)
The epitome of the English Gentleman, John Steed was everything that is great about our fair isle. Never caught without an umbrella, newspaper and his trademark bowler hat, he was the ultimate in sophisticated crime-fighting. His witty one-liners, mocking everything beneath him, were best put to sue in his verbal spars with his partner Emma Peel, with whom he shared a distinct sexual chemistry. But he would never allow himself to reveal that; it’s not the English way! He could handle himself well in a fight, with his umbrella serving as a weapon on more than one occasion, and afterwards (and this is the true reason he’s in the list) he would always stop for tea and biscuits. What a gent.
81: The OC: Seth Cohen (Adam Brody)
The inventor of Christmukah (a mix of Christmas and Hanukah, obviously) comes into our list as the sole representative of his show, where a group of rich Californians went through a series of melodramatic relationships and everyone had a dark secret. The reason he makes this list is that in the midst of the insane storylines he was a rock the show could cling to. Whenever things were going depressingly, they could rely on bringing in Seth to make some dorky comment and bring humour back to the show. And for being the sole ray of light in an otherwise entirely disheartening half-hour, he fully earns his place in the list.
On TV there is a distinct lack of characters who are willing to get things done by any means necessary, but Sharpe was certainly one of them. Based on Bernard Cornwall’s novels, Sharpe was brought to the screen by Sheffield’s own Sean Bean, who gave the character a grit and determination not to fail that has rarely been matched since. A humble soldier in Wellington’s army, Sharpe rose up the ranks due to the fact that he was hard as nails, kicking the living hell out of his opponents and then going back and making out with a succession of beautiful women looking for ‘a bit of rough’. Mix all this in with a badass attitude and the fact he’s played by SEAN BEAN, and you’ve got yourself the ultimate hero.
84: The Mighty Boosh: Old Gregg (Noel Fielding)
It’s a tribute to the talents of Noel Fielding that Old Gregg is in this list, as he only ever appeared in one episode of the Mighty Boosh, the one that bore his name. However Gregg has become a phenomenon, a character who is widely recognised and loved. With his catchphrase “I’m Old Gregg!” and his passion for Baileys drunk out of a shoe, Old Gregg is a half-man half-fish monster, although he suffers considerable brain damage due to his “downstairs mix-up” – work that one out for yourself. Old Gregg is a very dark character though, as it transpires he kidnaps people and then forces them to love him. Howard, who gets kidnapped by the fishy foe, finds this out when he engages in an inspired duet with Old Gregg; “Do You Love Me?”
83: Pride and Prejudice: Mr Darcy (Colin Firth)
Two words define this character: wet shirt.
82: The Avengers: John Steed (Patrick Macnee)
The epitome of the English Gentleman, John Steed was everything that is great about our fair isle. Never caught without an umbrella, newspaper and his trademark bowler hat, he was the ultimate in sophisticated crime-fighting. His witty one-liners, mocking everything beneath him, were best put to sue in his verbal spars with his partner Emma Peel, with whom he shared a distinct sexual chemistry. But he would never allow himself to reveal that; it’s not the English way! He could handle himself well in a fight, with his umbrella serving as a weapon on more than one occasion, and afterwards (and this is the true reason he’s in the list) he would always stop for tea and biscuits. What a gent.
81: The OC: Seth Cohen (Adam Brody)
The inventor of Christmukah (a mix of Christmas and Hanukah, obviously) comes into our list as the sole representative of his show, where a group of rich Californians went through a series of melodramatic relationships and everyone had a dark secret. The reason he makes this list is that in the midst of the insane storylines he was a rock the show could cling to. Whenever things were going depressingly, they could rely on bringing in Seth to make some dorky comment and bring humour back to the show. And for being the sole ray of light in an otherwise entirely disheartening half-hour, he fully earns his place in the list.
Saturday, 2 August 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Characters Of All Time (Part 3)
90: Ally McBeal: John Fish (Peter McNicol)
David E. Kelley has a genius for creating loveable eccentrics, and John Fish, who owned the law firm the heroine worked for was certainly one of those. He was also a prime example of the slow reveal: first Fish was a mental; then we learned that he was obsessive compulsive and had a fascination with his toilet; then we found out that he had a secret room behind the bathroom stalls; then we found out, right at the end, that he had been in love with Ally the whole time, only he knew it would never have worked. Talk about slow burn! It was his eccentric habits that made him a highlight of each episode. Ever the voice of reason, he’d seek the resolve any situation in his own idiosyncratic way, the joy was that more often than not he’d succeed.
89: Diagnosis Murder: Mark Sloan (Dick Van Dyke)
Mark Sloan has a strong following, in part due to the fact he’s portrayed by the legend that is Dick Van Dyke. On paper his character is very simple – he’s a doctor who helps solve mysteries in his spare time via a combination of deductive reasoning and helpful plot contrivances. Although nothing special, the fact that it’s Dick playing him means that the role instantly becomes an extension of the actor playing it. He completely takes over the role, and is as likeable and good natured as he is charming and funny. And that’s all that needs to be said.
88: Men Behaving Badly: Tony Smart (Neil Morrissey)
Some people just can’t help but say the wrong thing, and innocent but sex-obsessed Tony was a classic example of this. Spending most of his time in the pub or on the sofa, his childlike obsession with Kylie or some other woman – most likely his dreamgirl Debs – would start off nice but gradually wind up in a dirty, dirty place nobody could have expected. Clinically dim, it was the fact he clearly didn’t have a bad bone in his body that made him so likeable, and when Debs finally gave in to his persistent proposals a nation of beer-drinking lads cheered.
87: Firefly: River Tam (Summer Glau)
There is no absence of mentals in this list, although perhaps none are quite as disturbed as young River Tam. Abducted by sinister government figures, her brother Simon rescued her, and they took off across space as fugitives. However, it was soon clear that River was a very different girl to how she used to. She was prone to wandering the ship, scaring the fellow crewmates with her off-kilter conversations, and she later managed to shoot three people without even looking up at them. Sadly, the cancellation of the series meant we never got to see a full explanation of River’s problems on television, although the subsequent film filled in a lot of the gaps. It’s a shame, because it would have been fascinating to find out more about her past.
86: Footballer’s Wives: Tanya Turner (Zoe Lucker)
Tanya Turner was a secondary character who quickly became a monster. Very suddenly the show was taken over by Ms Turner, who went from husband to husband and hopped from bed to bed and illegal drug to illegal drug, causing havoc and wrecking countless lives as she went. Sadly, we never found out the fate of Tanya as the show was cancelled, but for three seasons she was Queen Bitch. She ruled the rest of the WAGs, with her twitching eyes and quivering cigarette, and anyone who tried to get in her way would inevitably be destroyed. It’s a shame there aren’t more characters like Tanya out there, but at the same time - it’s a bit of a relief.
David E. Kelley has a genius for creating loveable eccentrics, and John Fish, who owned the law firm the heroine worked for was certainly one of those. He was also a prime example of the slow reveal: first Fish was a mental; then we learned that he was obsessive compulsive and had a fascination with his toilet; then we found out that he had a secret room behind the bathroom stalls; then we found out, right at the end, that he had been in love with Ally the whole time, only he knew it would never have worked. Talk about slow burn! It was his eccentric habits that made him a highlight of each episode. Ever the voice of reason, he’d seek the resolve any situation in his own idiosyncratic way, the joy was that more often than not he’d succeed.
89: Diagnosis Murder: Mark Sloan (Dick Van Dyke)
Mark Sloan has a strong following, in part due to the fact he’s portrayed by the legend that is Dick Van Dyke. On paper his character is very simple – he’s a doctor who helps solve mysteries in his spare time via a combination of deductive reasoning and helpful plot contrivances. Although nothing special, the fact that it’s Dick playing him means that the role instantly becomes an extension of the actor playing it. He completely takes over the role, and is as likeable and good natured as he is charming and funny. And that’s all that needs to be said.
88: Men Behaving Badly: Tony Smart (Neil Morrissey)
Some people just can’t help but say the wrong thing, and innocent but sex-obsessed Tony was a classic example of this. Spending most of his time in the pub or on the sofa, his childlike obsession with Kylie or some other woman – most likely his dreamgirl Debs – would start off nice but gradually wind up in a dirty, dirty place nobody could have expected. Clinically dim, it was the fact he clearly didn’t have a bad bone in his body that made him so likeable, and when Debs finally gave in to his persistent proposals a nation of beer-drinking lads cheered.
87: Firefly: River Tam (Summer Glau)
There is no absence of mentals in this list, although perhaps none are quite as disturbed as young River Tam. Abducted by sinister government figures, her brother Simon rescued her, and they took off across space as fugitives. However, it was soon clear that River was a very different girl to how she used to. She was prone to wandering the ship, scaring the fellow crewmates with her off-kilter conversations, and she later managed to shoot three people without even looking up at them. Sadly, the cancellation of the series meant we never got to see a full explanation of River’s problems on television, although the subsequent film filled in a lot of the gaps. It’s a shame, because it would have been fascinating to find out more about her past.
86: Footballer’s Wives: Tanya Turner (Zoe Lucker)
Tanya Turner was a secondary character who quickly became a monster. Very suddenly the show was taken over by Ms Turner, who went from husband to husband and hopped from bed to bed and illegal drug to illegal drug, causing havoc and wrecking countless lives as she went. Sadly, we never found out the fate of Tanya as the show was cancelled, but for three seasons she was Queen Bitch. She ruled the rest of the WAGs, with her twitching eyes and quivering cigarette, and anyone who tried to get in her way would inevitably be destroyed. It’s a shame there aren’t more characters like Tanya out there, but at the same time - it’s a bit of a relief.
Saturday, 5 July 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time (Part 2)
95: Farscape: Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black)
So far every character we’ve met has been comedic, so applause for Aeryn Sun for being the first dramatic character on the list. She was a tough bounty-hunter type person, with a strict sense of morals which quickly dematerialised when she gave up on life in the barracks, and joined the ramshackle crew of Moya. She had no comprehension on humour, which made for great scenes between her and hero John Crichton, who she slowly developed a relationship with. And when it came to fighting: that’s when she shined.
94: Frasier: Martin Crane (John Mahoney)
Back to the comedy, and the first of the Cranes to make the list. Martin was the rough policeman father of Frasier and Niles, which in itself made for a brilliant running joke, as Martin punctured everything the pompous brothers planned with simple common sense and simple way of thinking. He was always the one who kept everything together in the end, fixing up the bungling that Frasier would inevitably do at some point during each episode. His relationship with his boys, who he always wanted to just play baseball and be manly, was touching, but the great thing was that if pressed between choosing his boys or his beloved recliner, you know that he would probably go for the recliner.
93: Marion and Geoff: Keith Barrett (Rob Brydon)
Marion and Geoff’s first series was made up of episodes only ten minutes long, but Brydon packed in more in those ten minutes than many could in half an hour. As Keith, divorced father of two “little smashers”, he was undoubtedly one of the most poignant roles in TV history, as Keith delivered monologues to his camera in which he was often optimistic about the most depressing things. You could see in his eyes that he was slowly dying because his ex-wife (the Marion of the title) wouldn’t let him see his kids. He was always positive about his life, even when everything was bad, and you couldn’t help but root for him throughout; he was easily one of the most likeable characters in recent screen history.
92: Charlie’s Angels: Charlie (John Forsythe)
The only character on the list without a body, Charlie makes this list purely due to the fact that he represents such an incredible mystery. He was never seen onscreen, but he commanded the attention whenever he appeared, as a voice only, through the central control desk. He would brief the angels on what they would have to do, and then he’d go. Simple. But the fact we never saw Charlie means that he was the subject of endless debate – who was he? Why did he have this agency? And that is why he deserves a place in this list, if not for the fact that he brought the world firmly into the age of female perms.
91: Everybody Loves Raymond: Robert Romano (Brad Garrett)
The problem with lead characters is that they have to support the show, and thus are in most of the scenes. The beauty of having supporting characters is that they can often simply walk in and steal the show with a short observation or one-liner. Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond one of the greatest examples of this sort of character in recent TV history, being able to saunter in to the main house whenever he wanted to and steal the show. Perennially seen as the second son in the family, he was jealous and critical of Raymond in a way the viewers only wished they could be. He had such a deep voice that every time he said something that seemed out of character he could get away with it, and he could make simple lines of exposition funny - which is handy, because after a while the show didn't have any actually funny lines left for him to work with.
So far every character we’ve met has been comedic, so applause for Aeryn Sun for being the first dramatic character on the list. She was a tough bounty-hunter type person, with a strict sense of morals which quickly dematerialised when she gave up on life in the barracks, and joined the ramshackle crew of Moya. She had no comprehension on humour, which made for great scenes between her and hero John Crichton, who she slowly developed a relationship with. And when it came to fighting: that’s when she shined.
94: Frasier: Martin Crane (John Mahoney)
Back to the comedy, and the first of the Cranes to make the list. Martin was the rough policeman father of Frasier and Niles, which in itself made for a brilliant running joke, as Martin punctured everything the pompous brothers planned with simple common sense and simple way of thinking. He was always the one who kept everything together in the end, fixing up the bungling that Frasier would inevitably do at some point during each episode. His relationship with his boys, who he always wanted to just play baseball and be manly, was touching, but the great thing was that if pressed between choosing his boys or his beloved recliner, you know that he would probably go for the recliner.
93: Marion and Geoff: Keith Barrett (Rob Brydon)
Marion and Geoff’s first series was made up of episodes only ten minutes long, but Brydon packed in more in those ten minutes than many could in half an hour. As Keith, divorced father of two “little smashers”, he was undoubtedly one of the most poignant roles in TV history, as Keith delivered monologues to his camera in which he was often optimistic about the most depressing things. You could see in his eyes that he was slowly dying because his ex-wife (the Marion of the title) wouldn’t let him see his kids. He was always positive about his life, even when everything was bad, and you couldn’t help but root for him throughout; he was easily one of the most likeable characters in recent screen history.
92: Charlie’s Angels: Charlie (John Forsythe)
The only character on the list without a body, Charlie makes this list purely due to the fact that he represents such an incredible mystery. He was never seen onscreen, but he commanded the attention whenever he appeared, as a voice only, through the central control desk. He would brief the angels on what they would have to do, and then he’d go. Simple. But the fact we never saw Charlie means that he was the subject of endless debate – who was he? Why did he have this agency? And that is why he deserves a place in this list, if not for the fact that he brought the world firmly into the age of female perms.
91: Everybody Loves Raymond: Robert Romano (Brad Garrett)
The problem with lead characters is that they have to support the show, and thus are in most of the scenes. The beauty of having supporting characters is that they can often simply walk in and steal the show with a short observation or one-liner. Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond one of the greatest examples of this sort of character in recent TV history, being able to saunter in to the main house whenever he wanted to and steal the show. Perennially seen as the second son in the family, he was jealous and critical of Raymond in a way the viewers only wished they could be. He had such a deep voice that every time he said something that seemed out of character he could get away with it, and he could make simple lines of exposition funny - which is handy, because after a while the show didn't have any actually funny lines left for him to work with.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
The 100 Greatest TV Show Characters Of All Time
100: Friends: Janice (Maggie Wheeler)
We start the list with one of the supporting cast from the most popular comedy series of all time. Introduced early on, Janice was a recurring girlfriend for Chandler, who was nice in all regards except for her voice. And her laugh. She is the one who is single-handedly responsible for the popularity of the phrase “Oh. My. God”. She wasn’t around as often as the other characters, which may be why we loved her so much; and it was a cool payoff at the end when we found out her eventual husband, who had seemed strangely tolerant of her horsey laugh, was actually partially deaf. Genius.
99: Father Ted: Noel Furlong (Graham Norton)
Another recurring character, the fact that we only ever saw Noel three times in the entirety of the series proves just how memorable he was. Played by the gay Graham Norton with a knowing wink, Noel was a hopelessly energetic soul, ever optimistic and always happy to sing campfire songs. He was so upbeat he would drive anyone in close contact with him into insanity – so where did Ted meet him? In a caravan, or in a cave, in which he was eventually trapped after causing a cave-in from shouting too excitedly. A fitting end, for such a manic character.
98: Mr Bean: Mr Bean (Rowan Atkinson)
Rowan Atkinson is a master at pronouncing words in special ways so that they sound funny. So what could have been more natural than taking on a new character who never spoke? Although it seemed a stretch, Atkinson managed to take on this new challenge, playing a man who was essentially a babbling idiot, and make it funny. Highly accident-prone, Bean was able to cause chaos in whatever situation he was in, whether he was in a nursing home or a theme-park or anywhere, you knew that come the end of the episode, Bean would have wormed his way into an impossible situation with no way out. And due to Atkinson’s rubber face, you’d know that it was going to be funny.
97: The American Office: Jim Halpert (John Krazinski)
The first of two characters from the American Office to make the list, it’s interesting to note that there are no characters from the English Office, which this show was based on, present in the list. So how come Jim makes it whilst Tim does not? Because Jim is much more likeable as a person, funnier, and more personable. Ricky Gervais writes excruciating comedy like no other, but the American Office took the central conceit of the show and made it honestly FUNNY. And Jim is probably the funniest character of the bunch, with his incessant pranks on office nerd Dwight, including sticking his stationary and wallet in a vending machine and handing him a bag of pennies to buy them back. However it was his relationship with Pam which most struck audiences, a genuine will they/won’t they situation where they really could end up apart at the end.
96: Extras: Darren Lamb (Stephen Merchant)
Speaking of Ricky Gervais, this is the only character from either of his shows to make it onto the list, and it’s the one played by Stephen Merchant. Bad luck Ricky, but Merchant plays the role of seedy yet useless Showbiz Agent Darren Lamb with relish, leaping headfirst into situations and showing time and time again how inept he is for the job; whether it be consistently failing to see anything his actors had been in, to booking poor guest spots for his people to work in. When he brings in “Barry”, every scene they have together is comedic gold, as Lamb is totally unable to realise that the character and the actor are separate people. It's a shame he wasn't in The Office more often.
We start the list with one of the supporting cast from the most popular comedy series of all time. Introduced early on, Janice was a recurring girlfriend for Chandler, who was nice in all regards except for her voice. And her laugh. She is the one who is single-handedly responsible for the popularity of the phrase “Oh. My. God”. She wasn’t around as often as the other characters, which may be why we loved her so much; and it was a cool payoff at the end when we found out her eventual husband, who had seemed strangely tolerant of her horsey laugh, was actually partially deaf. Genius.
99: Father Ted: Noel Furlong (Graham Norton)
Another recurring character, the fact that we only ever saw Noel three times in the entirety of the series proves just how memorable he was. Played by the gay Graham Norton with a knowing wink, Noel was a hopelessly energetic soul, ever optimistic and always happy to sing campfire songs. He was so upbeat he would drive anyone in close contact with him into insanity – so where did Ted meet him? In a caravan, or in a cave, in which he was eventually trapped after causing a cave-in from shouting too excitedly. A fitting end, for such a manic character.
98: Mr Bean: Mr Bean (Rowan Atkinson)
Rowan Atkinson is a master at pronouncing words in special ways so that they sound funny. So what could have been more natural than taking on a new character who never spoke? Although it seemed a stretch, Atkinson managed to take on this new challenge, playing a man who was essentially a babbling idiot, and make it funny. Highly accident-prone, Bean was able to cause chaos in whatever situation he was in, whether he was in a nursing home or a theme-park or anywhere, you knew that come the end of the episode, Bean would have wormed his way into an impossible situation with no way out. And due to Atkinson’s rubber face, you’d know that it was going to be funny.
97: The American Office: Jim Halpert (John Krazinski)
The first of two characters from the American Office to make the list, it’s interesting to note that there are no characters from the English Office, which this show was based on, present in the list. So how come Jim makes it whilst Tim does not? Because Jim is much more likeable as a person, funnier, and more personable. Ricky Gervais writes excruciating comedy like no other, but the American Office took the central conceit of the show and made it honestly FUNNY. And Jim is probably the funniest character of the bunch, with his incessant pranks on office nerd Dwight, including sticking his stationary and wallet in a vending machine and handing him a bag of pennies to buy them back. However it was his relationship with Pam which most struck audiences, a genuine will they/won’t they situation where they really could end up apart at the end.
96: Extras: Darren Lamb (Stephen Merchant)
Speaking of Ricky Gervais, this is the only character from either of his shows to make it onto the list, and it’s the one played by Stephen Merchant. Bad luck Ricky, but Merchant plays the role of seedy yet useless Showbiz Agent Darren Lamb with relish, leaping headfirst into situations and showing time and time again how inept he is for the job; whether it be consistently failing to see anything his actors had been in, to booking poor guest spots for his people to work in. When he brings in “Barry”, every scene they have together is comedic gold, as Lamb is totally unable to realise that the character and the actor are separate people. It's a shame he wasn't in The Office more often.
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