The Four Biggest Indie-Hipster Crushes

1: Abi Harding

What is it about sassy brass lady Abi Harding that puts her at the top of our list? Is it her consistently delightful taste in summery dresses that sets her apart? How about the fact that the rest of her band are a bunch of scouse blokes? There’s the fact that she plays the saxophone, long known to be the most ‘rocking’ and ‘rocksome’ (these terms are interchangeable) of all the instruments on Earth. There are these facts, yes, but there is also the simple truth that she is just plain hot. It’s hard to pin down what it is exactly about Ms Harding that makes it hard to resist cracking innuendo-riddled jokes about her surname, but it is certainly hard to deny her crushability. If you see these photos and don’t believe us, then search for her band, The Zutons, and see her in action. She is almost certainly the biggest crush any indie-kid should ever have (excluding the US, of course), and single-handedly the only reason anyone should care about The Zutons.





Try and deny that saxophones are awesome, and I will slap you.

How To Seduce 60 Beautiful Women (Part 2)

Ten more incredibly useful tips in case you ever manage to meet the girl of your dreams.


41: Tina Dico (singer)
“You know how you have a song called ‘Use Me’...?”
By helping her recall her own music, in the process you have implied that later on in the evening you wish to manipulate her silly.

42: Abi Harding (musician: The Zutons)
“If sax music be the music of love, then play on”
Classy. And women like class, you see.

43: Ashley Jensen (actress: Extras)
“You were in extras – I’ve got just the part for you!”
Just remember that when she asks about this part, you must pull down your trousers for her. That is the vital thing, here.

44: Elisha Cuthbert (actress: 24)
“Remember the film you did, Captivity? That was an awful, awful film, with no redeeming qualities. I’d still like to do you, though.”
Honesty is the best policy. Women don't like liars.

45: Martha Wainwright (singer)
“Dis, quand reviendras-tu?”
One of the most romantic things a man can do is speak to a girl in a foreign language. This is also the name of one of her songs, so you have two things going for you when you use this line.

46: Yvonne Strahovski (actress: Chuck)
“Girl, you are wienerlicious!”
Flattery is the best policy. Making up words is also a bonus, because it makes you seem creative.

47: Monica Potter (actress: Boston Legal, Con Air)
“Can you help me put my bunny back in your box?”
This line kicks serious ass. Even if she hadn't been in Con Air, this would still be a bad-ass line to use.

48: Michelle Ryan (actress: Eastenders, Bionic Woman)
“You know how your character in “Bionic Woman is biologically advanced? Well you just advanced my biology, girl! Which part? Have a guess….”
As with line 43, don't forget to drop your trousers at the right moment.

49: Heidi Range (singer: The Sugababes)
“Whenever I see you, you make me taller in more ways”
This is a very sly reference to her last album. Another idea would be to tell her you enjoy bricking people's windows and stealing car wheels, because she's a scouser.

50: Maggie Gyllenhaal (actress)
[Put a camera on her, and she will strip eventually]
Just trust me on this one.