Stephanie Meyer Announces a FIFTH Twilight Book!

Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series have been a tremendous success around the World, and possibly the area between the World and Mercury. While Venusians are keen on the timeless tale of vampires and werewolves and the human caught between them, the people of Mercury find the writing to be a little lacklustre. The Martians are outright angry about the existence of the books, furious that there are no strong Martian characters in any of the title roles. The books are most massively popular on Earth, where the books – and Robert Pattinson’s dreamy combination of looking like he hates being in the film adaptations and staring both to and from the camera – are some of the most read and loved in the World. After four books which take the story to the logical conclusion of turning the main character into a vampire and having the werewolf fall in love with her newborn baby, we all thought Meyer was done. Nobody expected there to be more novels in her, especially not ones which could capture the heart, imagination, verve and wit which were so admirably left out of the original quadrilogy.

Yet the news has just come through that Meyer IS currently in the process of writing a fifth novel. While it may seem that the stories Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn definitively told the story of Bella and Edward, the vampire couple who will glitter forevermore, the title of the new book suggests a new direction for the storyline. Titled “Lunchtime”, the novel follows on directly from the past four books and sees Bella struggling to cope with her hunger. Although she wants to gorge herself on the arteries of some orphan children, Edward doesn’t dig fat chicks and she develops bulimia as a result. Meanwhile her former love interest Jacob is happily married to her newborn baby, and they are living in Alaska.

Now, things seem to be simple so far, until the arrival of a zombie into the picture. Called Samuel, the zombie meets Bella and is instantly smitten. As she is dead and thus has no legal obligation to stay loyal to Edward, Bella elopes with Samuel in some gloomy woods and they stare at each other for the middle section of the book. Meanwhile Edward himself finds that his eternal love for Bella is severely tested by the arrival of a mermaid, whose watery tendrils drag him underwater. He learns that he has gills and was the son of The Mermaid King. He’s asked to stay underwater forevermore, living underneath a lake near a gloomy forest.

This may seem simple so far, but things get complicated when the newborn baby ‘imprints’ a human male called Leslie, who wears a deep overcoat and lives in council housing on his own, in a deserted neighbourhood. Leslie attempt to abduct the child, and Jacob is too distracted by his own struggle not to cheat on the baby with a Chimera. Although Leslie is eventually caught by the Werewolf council and eaten, Jacob is left an outcast by the clan and has to go live on his own in a gloomy forest.

You may be thinking “this is all pretty simple so far”. Well hold on to your hats, because one day Bella and Samuel go for a row on the lake where Edward is living as the Crown Mermaid Prince, and Jacob spots her. Running across the surface of the lake, as all werewolves are able to, he pounces on Bella and eats her for being unfaithful to Edward. At the very same time, Edward abandons the mermaids and returns to the surface. Upon seeing what has happened on the boat, he is about to attack Jacob when they suddenly imprint on each other and fall in love. They push Samuel over the side of the boat and he floats to the bottom of the lake, where he falls in love with the mermaid Princess and they rule the lake forever more.

The final chapter sees Edward and Jacob row away on their boat together, little aware that a Medusa called Stephanie is watching them. To be continued??

My Novel -- Freedom Fighters of Earth in the Year 2088

Chapter 14: The Unintended Betrayal of Peter

Georgia stood up off the bed and walked over to the mirror, aware that they were still watching her every move. Although she felt more scared of them than she did of the potential for Pirates of the Caribbean 4 to ruin Johnny Depp’s career, she showed no emotion as she put on the earrings her grandmother had made for her. Grandma had been a gifted craftswoman, and Georgia couldn’t help but admire the way that the beads glistened against the chandelier above. She never felt stronger and more empowered than when she wore these earrings, which were styled to look like a pair of chickens giving birth.

“Georgia? Are you there?” came a rumble in her inner brain-wave, indicating that Peter had returned from his mission and was now in the mood for a dalliance. She knew that she should show no sign of his arrival in her ears, but a tremble in her lip was all it took. One of the Corporation’s probes flew past her window, casting a backwards look at her before it went to megaspeed with news of her careless lips.

“Damn it,” she whispered to herself. She had been careless, and now they would know about Peter’s survival. If only she’d been more care FULL, she could’ve saved him from torture. Now he would doubtless be drilled within an inch of his life.

Georgia took off her bra to reveal a smooth pair of carefully-rouged breasts, firm in all the right ways but big too. Some women have breasts which look like they are welded at the top so they can’t dangle, but Georgia worked out three times a week at the gym and her chest-cannons were plump in all the ways that men liked. Peter certainly liked them, and she thought back to the way he used to tease her nipples.

Her breasts had been compared in the past to those gummy cherries you can buy at a pick n’ mix sweetshop. There was a cautionary shimmer to her nipples, which were not erect at this time but could prick outwards at the first sign of arousal. Sometimes she iced them up and went out for walks around the hotel, enjoying the admiring looks she got from strangers as they pressed tightly against her silk tank-top. In the light of the room, they looked to be bright red, but the reality was that they had more of a light-tan colour to them. If you saw her nipples detached and sat on a scientific desk, you’d be unable to tell if they belonged to a white woman or a latino.

Of course, she was white. The latinos had been sent off in search of off-world activity all those years ago. She sighed at the very thought of all those dudebros flying off to parts unknown. How she wished she’d taken the chance to have one of them visit her parts unknown before they’d left the planet. Her tick-list of ethnicities would always remain incomplete.

Georgia considered putting on a lacy green bra, before eventually setting for her favourite blue cushion-smuggler. She spent one last moment admiring her perfectly-sized and equally-spaced cans, before forcing the blue straps over her shoulders and restraining them. They put up a fight: she’d expect nothing less from those freedom-seeking jugs. But, after a few minutes, she had the bra on and followed it with a dressing gown.

Time was slipping away. Peter was in trouble because of the dystopian society Georgia knew and hated on a daily basis. She had to find the army of hope, and ask them for help in saving her paramour. With one quick tweak of her beautiful left nipple, teasing it into a place where it would have maximum allure, she picked up her gun and left the room.