M. Night Shyamalan is a busy man. When he isn’t releasing a stream of films which always feature a twist ending of some sorts, he’s… wait. No. That’s all he does. And Wilftonville isn’t really fond of any of these twists either. It’s all very well and good having them, but at least have ones which are interesting and will entertain people. Over the next few months we’re going to review the endings of each of his films in turn, to see what twists he should have incorporated into the scripts. As such, expect spoilers.
The Sixth Sense:
In The Sixth Sense Bruce Willis plays a doctor whose newest patient, a small boy, can see ghosts. Rather than drown the child for being a witch, Bruce investigates further and then realises he is a ghost and the whole thing is a wind-up. The kid can only see him in the first place because he’s one of the ghosts he’s come to help the kid stop seeing! This is played for farce, and eventually the boy introduces Bruce to a lovely young woman (played by Jennifer Garner) and they fall in love. As Bruce is dead, he has to convince the woman to kill herself by whispering in her ear so she thinks she’s crazy. Evrentually she takes an electric drill to her brain, and she and Bruce live happy ever after. In the ever after.
That’s well boring. Here’s how we think the film should end.
Haley Joel Osment: I can see dead people.
Bruce Willis: I know. Even though it’s impossible, I accept the fact that you can see dead people. Frankly, I find it creepy.
J-JO: Do you want to know my secret?
BW: The seeing dead people thing isn’t your secret?
J-LO: Don’t you wonder how I’m able to see dead people?
BW: I assumed you had spent lengthy periods of time around radiation.
J-LO: No, Bruce. I can see dead people because I am a Werewolf.
BW: Well that explains everything to my satisfaction. I’m going to go solve my marriage problems now.
J-LO: Alright. See you later, Bruce!
BW: You alright, kid! You alright. Yippee-Ki-Yay, Mother Flipper.