Tuesday, 19 August 2008

The Eleven Secret Herbs and Spices of KFC

KFC think that their delicious chicken is due to a secret recipe they have that they can mix together to make the food tastes so nice, and that nobody else will ever make such delicious chickens as them because nobody can replicate it. They’re so proud of this fact that they stick it on the side of all their packaging, in big bold type. Because, you see, nobody will ever figure out what the eleven herbs and spices could ever be. People, presumably scientists and cooks, read this packaging and see the logo, and they think “oh, well if these herbs and spices are SECRET, then we’ll never find it out, so what’s the point in trying to?” It is thus that nobody has ever attempted to try and work out what the spices were.

Until now. Wilftonville sees this logo not as a statement, but as a challenge instead. There is only one thing that the KFC people didn’t think through when they put up the logo “made with eleven secret herbs and spices”, and this is that they have revealed exactly how many herbs and spices you need to mix together in order to replicate the KFC style. And one other thing that they haven’t thought through, so there are two things they haven’t thought through, is that there are only ten herbs and one spice that exist in the world, anyway. So their special recipe is really made up of these ten herbs and that one spice, so it’s easy to work out what the ingredients all are. The last thing they didn’t think through was that by mentioning there was a spice involved, they have played right into our hands.

Here are the eleven ingredients of KFC food. We put them up without any intent at making profit from it, but at the same time if you want to give us some money or cook us some chicken as a thank you, we’d accept it.

1: Parsley (codename: The Lion)
2: Basil (codename: Brush)
3: Sage (codename: Tessa)
4: Onion ( codename: AV Club)
5: Lavender (codename: Diamond)
6: Rosemary (codename: Clooney)
7: Mint (codename: Card)
8: Dill : codename: Germany)
9: Banana (codename: The Velvet Underground and Nico)
10: Rocket (codename: Racer)

1: Pepper (codename: Percy)

1 comment:

  1. You forgot the long forgotten "experimental" spice, "Habenero, code name: The Cleaner"