Friday, 4 July 2008

The Doctor Who Lottery

Spoilers! Oi – SPOILERS! If you haven’t seen up to the penultimate episode of Doctor Who, then you’re going to get spoiled by reading this. All up in your FACE. You’ve been warned, and are currently being so.

Right! We’ve come down to the wire now; and with only one episode left we’ve got a lot of ends still looking loose and untied, so let’s take a look at them. The penultimate episode of Dr Who last week teased at a lot of things, several of which would have major consequences to the show itself. Tomorrow brings the end of Russell T Davies’ tenure as the show-runner (he will be writing the specials next year, though, and the Christmas special), and things have really been ramping up recently. Here on the Doctor Who Lottery, we’re going to analyse and judge, and see what is most likely to happen tomorrow. We don’t know if the predictions we are making will end up being true or not, so this is all guesswork for the time being, albeit guesswork from handsome and clever sources (me). Feel free to put down your own theories down in the comments.

Thread 1: One Of The Companions Will Die!

This has been teased all year – Donna will die. She’s already been killed off briefly before, she’s not going to be back for Christmas, and every character who has met her has helped bludgeon us with the sledgehammer of foreshadowing. The Ood, the Romans, the palm-reader, everyone has told Donna that she will be the one to die. Martha and Rose are the other two candidates for death, but Russell T Davies doesn’t hold to the creed that every other writer on TV holds to – hurt the character you love the most. Joss Whedon kills off people will alarming regularity and no warning, JJ Abrams made sure that nobody on his casts were guaranteed a healthy life. Russell T Davies continually fudges it, moving people to other dimensions and the like. He likes Rose, but he won’t harm her. On the other hand, Martha has had such a weak storyline on the show that if she were to die nobody would care at all. Even The Doctor doesn’t seem to give two stuffs about her anymore. Mark my words: Donna will be the one to die. But will that be the end of her? Read on!

Thread 2: What will happen to Earth?

It’ll be fine. Of course it’ll be fine! I can’t believe you’d even question that. There is no way that at the end of this show the Earth will be in a bad position. Things will go back to normal, there’ll be a jaunty tune, and we will see that milkman go back on his rounds, blissfully happy again. Having said that though, Davies will be perfectly happy to kill off as much of our population as he wants in the final episode. Expect shocking statements like “the entirety of America has been destroyed” or something. How will he get away with this? Read on!

Thread 3: What will be the fate of Sarah-Jane Smith and Torchwood?

At the end of last episode, Sarah-Jane was cornered by Daleks whilst in her car, because for some reason she didn’t think that running them over would be a viable way to escape. Women drivers… Anyway. The Daleks raised their plungers o’ doom at her and she did a bizarre cowering pose that held for at least five seconds before the cameras pulled away. Will she die? No. She won’t. I’ve seen the castlist for the final episode, and I’m betting that a second team of heroes are due to show up any second to save her. And if not them, then Martha will show up and use her legendary ‘lameness’ power to make the Daleks explode.

As for Torchwood, I predict that they will both die. As an aside though, how good was Eve Myles acting as she was firing that gun and screaming at the Daleks? The best acting I’ve seen on Who, I’d say. It’s a shame they’re going to kill her, but don’t panic. Why shouldn’t you panic? Read on!

Thread 4: Who will be the next Doctor?

Oh no! The Doctor got shot by a Dalek and now he’s going to regenerate! We saw Tennant dragged into the Tardis and saw his hand start boiling over, and then he exploded. Who is going to be the next Doctor? Well, personally, my money is on David Morrissey. He’s due to appear soon, and he’d make a great Doctor, don’t you think? Not that he will become the Doctor this series, though. No, Davies has got something else planned instead. There have been a lot of shots this season which have focused on the chopped-off hand that belonged to Tennant from when he first became the Doctor. He lost his hand in a sword fight but grew back another one. This is going to become very important indeed, because Tennant is going to retain his appearance. Somehow – and I don’t dare try to work out the logic here – the fact he already lost a hand is going to tie in to his regeneration, and he won’t change appearance or anything. Oh, but you COULD very well see more than one Doctor appear, but I refuse to tell you any more about that. Want more details on how the Doctor will survive? Read on!

Thread 5: How will the series end?

Deus-ex-machina. There is no other way to put it. There will be a massive reset button that will take us right back to the start of the series, or the last episode, or somewhere near to there. Everyone who dies will come back to life, and get sent off to their home or dimension or a different planet or whatever. The Daleks will be defeated and Davros will either die in an ambiguous explosion or leave with Donna. Leave with Donna? How bizarre! Not really. There have been signs pointing to this for a while, but again – not going to spoil them for you. So what happens next, then? Read on!

Thread 6: What will the future hold?

Martha goes back to her fiancée and UNIT. Sarah Jane and Torchwood go back to their respective shows, but with slightly expanded casts (the people who I think will be saving Sarah-Jane will move on to Torchwood, that is). Donna will go her own way. Captain Jack might vanish for a while. Rose will go with the Doctor. Adventures will ensue, but on a strict time limit. The earth will be fine. Tennant will live on as the Doctor until at least partway through series 5. He won’t make the end of that series. Stephen Moffat will make adventurous TV that will get lower ratings. And David Morrissey will become the Doctor! Want more predictions? Read on!

No, not really. That’s everything I have to say. So I guess we’ll just have to see if I’m right, eh?


  1. Oh no! I'll be so annoyed if they don't have a brand new shiny doctor. And I reckon this one should maybe be a bit older and less modishly dressed.

  2. I hope people don't let Steven Moffat's Doctor Who go unnoticed. Goodbye pop culture references, obligatorily gay characters, and third act let downs, and hello exemplary story telling and memorable characters. Bring on the reign of Moffat.

  3. "Tennant will live on as the Doctor until at least partway through series 5. He won’t make the end of that series."

    That's an interesting call. Why do you say that?

  4. Partly because I have a legendary number of contacts within 'the biz' who routinely make up things and tell them to me so I look stupid when I reveal them online... mostly though, because I see Moffat as the sort of writer who would rather kill off a Doctor halfway through a series than at the finale. I don't think Tennant would want to stay with Who much longer after next year has finished, anyway.

    Oh mad, you fool! If you say that, then Paul Weller will never become Doctor Who! And he would make a GREAT Doctor Who.

    And yes, I salute the arrival of Moffat. Hopefully we will never have to suffer an episode again where characters from the future play a Britney Spears record and refer to it as "an old classic". That got old after the third or fourth time he did it.

  5. Am I the only person who thought the season end was just a little lame?

  6. But Doctor Who is supposed to be lame- that's why it's so awesome.

  7. No TV show is 'meant' to be lame. Some are ironic or camp, but being lame means that the show does not match up to the camp or ironic standards it sets. The Dr Who finale used a series of slight cop-out to finish the story, and that's what made it lame. Just wait til you see what Moffat (hopefully does), and you'll see how a show can embrace the camp and still be good (see also: Buffy).